OK, so here’s the deal; if you’re expecting stories of mud-baths in far-flung jungles, crossing deep rivers using only a plastic fork and last week’s Sunday Times for tools or of rappelling down steep cliffs on a bike, you’ve come to the wrong post! What follows is the (partial) story of road-trip (the operative word here being road) that I did between 15th and 28th of March.
The initial plan for the trip was as follows; Phuket-Bangkok-Tak-Mae Sariang-Pai-Chiang Mai-Mae Sai-Nan-Tak-Kanchanaburi-Hua Hin-Phuket. However, no battle-plan survives first contact with the enemy, and this would prove to be no exception to that rule.
Also, as shall become abundantly evident later on, this is about the worst time of the year that you can set out to do what I was planning. However, before everyone starts chiming in about this, let me just make it clear that I was completely aware of this before I started. The reason for doing it when I did was quite simply that this was when I had the opportunity to do it. I can’t take off for this long whenever it tickles my fancy, so when a series of things all of a sudden fell into place I didn’t hesitate to pack my bike and take off, hoping for a spot of luck along the way with the conditions.
15th March – Day 1
The first day was basically just a ‘transport-stage’, meant to get me closer to the real object of the trip; doing a loop of the North. I decided to go to Bangkok on the first day, as I had a few things I wanted to do there, and I didn’t need to be in Tak before the 17th. I have done the trip to Bangkok and back on a bike several times before, but last time it nearly did me in. Not from any near misses, mind you, but from plain old heat exhaustion. I had started from Phuket at 05:00 and arrived on the outskirts of Bangkok at about 16:00, and the last 20 km took me an hour and a half. Let me tell you, the Dakar Rally’s got nothing on trying to wrestle a fully loaded Africa Twin through rush-hour traffic in Bangkok - in full kit, of course - on a blazing hot day. I shall spare you the details, suffice it to say that this time I was determined to do it differently. I set out to start at 08:00 and aimed for 12 hours to central Bangkok. The reason for starting later was to avoid the peak of the traffic and to get into the city when it was a bit cooler as well. This being Thailand, where it’s considered rude to be on time, I of course didn’t get going until 09:00.
All dressed up
Tah Chat Chai checkpoint, right before the Sarasin Bridge that takes you off the island. 835 km to go.
First you have to survive Phuket traffic (by far the most dangerous in Thailand, if you ask me) to get to the bridge. Then you get onto Hwy 4, which takes you first up to Ranong, and later on to Chumphon. The stretch between Phuket and Ranong is generally quite a pleasant ride, if not spectacular.
Scenery from Hwy 4 between Phuket and Ranong
Then, once you’ve passed Ranong, the road gets rather twisty and there are a fair few mountains around, making life a bit more interesting. This goes on for quite a while, until you start getting near Chumphon, where things become more flat and straight.
Hwy 4 between Ranong and Chumphon
You never quite know what you might come across on a Thai road. This is a fishing boat overtaking me right before Chumphon.
Well, once I hit Chumphon, the road turned into the usual boring, straight highway. However, before I could embark on this stretch of particularly un-amusing road I had to negotiate a new on/off-ramp system they have made there, but which ESRI has yet to put in their map. Coming from North or South, it’s not a problem, you just follow the signs. However, coming from West, as I did, the signs are either confusing or simply not there, and the roads the GPS tell you to go on no longer exist. I ended up doing two loops of this system, before heading 2 km in the wrong direction (I knew this as I was doing it, but I had to try something different) and finally being able to turn around and pass through Chumphon.
Hwy 4 to Bangkok, right after Chumphon. This is going to be boring!
Near Petchaburi. What is it with Thais and birds anyway?
The remainder of the trip was rather uneventful. I got into Bangkok around 21:00, and the traffic was actually no worse than what I can find on Phuket on any given day. I arrived at the hotel a bit before 22:00, in considerably better shape than last time I did this.
Inside Bangkok. My cunning plan worked and the traffic was quite light.
Route: 4, 32. Distance: 891 km.
16th March – Day 2
Today was a day of R&R in Bangkok. I had intended to buy a new helmet while I was there. Not that there’s much wrong with the one I have, a Uvex Enduro. However, they make a carbon fiber version of the same helmet, which weighs in at a mere 1.05 kg, not to mention that it comes in fashionable black. What’s not to like? So I called up MocycShop (as seen on mocyc.com), and asked whether they had this helmet. Now, here I have to admit that I had originally written a somewhat sarcastic comment regarding the “No hab! Only hab saport!” I was greeted with. It wasn’t until later in the evening that I realized that I had attributed the ad for the helmet I was after to the wrong shop! Doh! By then it was too late to do anything about it.
So, with no joy on a new lid (and we’re travelling back in time here), I proceeded with the next order of business, which was to go here
to salivate over, and to some degree on, this
Yamaha XT1200Z Super Tenere
My sincerest apologies for the naff paparazzi pictures, but they have a ‘No f#####g photo!’ policy in the shop. Anyways, I’m not shy to admit that I’ve been having wet dreams about this one. Probably just as well that I didn’t happen to have 690.000 Baht in my pocket, or else…
But I digress.
Pizza Seafood Supreme at Pizza Hut: 310 Baht (sorry Captain, couldn’t help myself)
Route: None in particular. Distance: 0 km (by bike, anyway).
17th March – Day 3
The key to a smooth exit from Bangkok is to get up and get going before (most of) the Bangkokians. In the past I have left at 05:00 to 05:30, which works really well, but today I am once again unfashionably late and don’t get a move on until 06:20. I run into the first minor traffic jam about 100 m from the hotel where there’s already a market in full swing (sorry, no pictures from the first half hour of the trip, as I was too busy dodging traffic and navigating at the same time).
32 to Nakhon Sawan
On 309, which I thought looked interesting enough to warrant a bit of exploration (allright, I screwed up and missed an exit, which is why I ended up there rather than on 32), I saw this sign, pointing to a big guy.
And sure enough, there’s the big guy.
A flock of tastefully decorated busses. There must be a nest nearby.
Note to self: Exercise greater caution when packing shaving cream (though for the rest of the trip, that backpack smelled fabulous).
Hwy 1 to Tak. ‘Nuff said.
Now we’re getting near Tak, and things begin to look a bit more rural.
According to ESRI, this is a paved road. Oh, well.
I think there’s an Al-Qaeda camp around here somewhere.
More dirt/farm road.
Irrefutable proof. I have been in the s@*t and I am now a hardcore adventure-rider!
And for the KTMaholics out there (you know who you are): KTMs are orange. This is orange. Ergo, this is a KTM. QED.
If I was just going to Tak, I might have stayed on Hwy 1 all the way. However, I was looking in on the family who were up there visiting, which explains this detour into the countryside. This is also the reason why this day, at least as far as this story is concerned, ends rather abruptly right here.
Route: 32, 1 (wroooong!), 309 (correction of previous muck-up), 32, 1, 122, 1 and a bunch of back-roads in Tak. Distance: 483 km
The initial plan for the trip was as follows; Phuket-Bangkok-Tak-Mae Sariang-Pai-Chiang Mai-Mae Sai-Nan-Tak-Kanchanaburi-Hua Hin-Phuket. However, no battle-plan survives first contact with the enemy, and this would prove to be no exception to that rule.
Also, as shall become abundantly evident later on, this is about the worst time of the year that you can set out to do what I was planning. However, before everyone starts chiming in about this, let me just make it clear that I was completely aware of this before I started. The reason for doing it when I did was quite simply that this was when I had the opportunity to do it. I can’t take off for this long whenever it tickles my fancy, so when a series of things all of a sudden fell into place I didn’t hesitate to pack my bike and take off, hoping for a spot of luck along the way with the conditions.
15th March – Day 1
The first day was basically just a ‘transport-stage’, meant to get me closer to the real object of the trip; doing a loop of the North. I decided to go to Bangkok on the first day, as I had a few things I wanted to do there, and I didn’t need to be in Tak before the 17th. I have done the trip to Bangkok and back on a bike several times before, but last time it nearly did me in. Not from any near misses, mind you, but from plain old heat exhaustion. I had started from Phuket at 05:00 and arrived on the outskirts of Bangkok at about 16:00, and the last 20 km took me an hour and a half. Let me tell you, the Dakar Rally’s got nothing on trying to wrestle a fully loaded Africa Twin through rush-hour traffic in Bangkok - in full kit, of course - on a blazing hot day. I shall spare you the details, suffice it to say that this time I was determined to do it differently. I set out to start at 08:00 and aimed for 12 hours to central Bangkok. The reason for starting later was to avoid the peak of the traffic and to get into the city when it was a bit cooler as well. This being Thailand, where it’s considered rude to be on time, I of course didn’t get going until 09:00.
All dressed up
Tah Chat Chai checkpoint, right before the Sarasin Bridge that takes you off the island. 835 km to go.
First you have to survive Phuket traffic (by far the most dangerous in Thailand, if you ask me) to get to the bridge. Then you get onto Hwy 4, which takes you first up to Ranong, and later on to Chumphon. The stretch between Phuket and Ranong is generally quite a pleasant ride, if not spectacular.
Scenery from Hwy 4 between Phuket and Ranong
Then, once you’ve passed Ranong, the road gets rather twisty and there are a fair few mountains around, making life a bit more interesting. This goes on for quite a while, until you start getting near Chumphon, where things become more flat and straight.
Hwy 4 between Ranong and Chumphon
You never quite know what you might come across on a Thai road. This is a fishing boat overtaking me right before Chumphon.
Well, once I hit Chumphon, the road turned into the usual boring, straight highway. However, before I could embark on this stretch of particularly un-amusing road I had to negotiate a new on/off-ramp system they have made there, but which ESRI has yet to put in their map. Coming from North or South, it’s not a problem, you just follow the signs. However, coming from West, as I did, the signs are either confusing or simply not there, and the roads the GPS tell you to go on no longer exist. I ended up doing two loops of this system, before heading 2 km in the wrong direction (I knew this as I was doing it, but I had to try something different) and finally being able to turn around and pass through Chumphon.
Hwy 4 to Bangkok, right after Chumphon. This is going to be boring!
Near Petchaburi. What is it with Thais and birds anyway?
The remainder of the trip was rather uneventful. I got into Bangkok around 21:00, and the traffic was actually no worse than what I can find on Phuket on any given day. I arrived at the hotel a bit before 22:00, in considerably better shape than last time I did this.
Inside Bangkok. My cunning plan worked and the traffic was quite light.
Route: 4, 32. Distance: 891 km.
16th March – Day 2
Today was a day of R&R in Bangkok. I had intended to buy a new helmet while I was there. Not that there’s much wrong with the one I have, a Uvex Enduro. However, they make a carbon fiber version of the same helmet, which weighs in at a mere 1.05 kg, not to mention that it comes in fashionable black. What’s not to like? So I called up MocycShop (as seen on mocyc.com), and asked whether they had this helmet. Now, here I have to admit that I had originally written a somewhat sarcastic comment regarding the “No hab! Only hab saport!” I was greeted with. It wasn’t until later in the evening that I realized that I had attributed the ad for the helmet I was after to the wrong shop! Doh! By then it was too late to do anything about it.
So, with no joy on a new lid (and we’re travelling back in time here), I proceeded with the next order of business, which was to go here
to salivate over, and to some degree on, this
Yamaha XT1200Z Super Tenere
My sincerest apologies for the naff paparazzi pictures, but they have a ‘No f#####g photo!’ policy in the shop. Anyways, I’m not shy to admit that I’ve been having wet dreams about this one. Probably just as well that I didn’t happen to have 690.000 Baht in my pocket, or else…
But I digress.
Pizza Seafood Supreme at Pizza Hut: 310 Baht (sorry Captain, couldn’t help myself)
Route: None in particular. Distance: 0 km (by bike, anyway).
17th March – Day 3
The key to a smooth exit from Bangkok is to get up and get going before (most of) the Bangkokians. In the past I have left at 05:00 to 05:30, which works really well, but today I am once again unfashionably late and don’t get a move on until 06:20. I run into the first minor traffic jam about 100 m from the hotel where there’s already a market in full swing (sorry, no pictures from the first half hour of the trip, as I was too busy dodging traffic and navigating at the same time).
32 to Nakhon Sawan
On 309, which I thought looked interesting enough to warrant a bit of exploration (allright, I screwed up and missed an exit, which is why I ended up there rather than on 32), I saw this sign, pointing to a big guy.
And sure enough, there’s the big guy.
A flock of tastefully decorated busses. There must be a nest nearby.
Note to self: Exercise greater caution when packing shaving cream (though for the rest of the trip, that backpack smelled fabulous).
Hwy 1 to Tak. ‘Nuff said.
Now we’re getting near Tak, and things begin to look a bit more rural.
According to ESRI, this is a paved road. Oh, well.
I think there’s an Al-Qaeda camp around here somewhere.
More dirt/farm road.
Irrefutable proof. I have been in the s@*t and I am now a hardcore adventure-rider!
And for the KTMaholics out there (you know who you are): KTMs are orange. This is orange. Ergo, this is a KTM. QED.
If I was just going to Tak, I might have stayed on Hwy 1 all the way. However, I was looking in on the family who were up there visiting, which explains this detour into the countryside. This is also the reason why this day, at least as far as this story is concerned, ends rather abruptly right here.
Route: 32, 1 (wroooong!), 309 (correction of previous muck-up), 32, 1, 122, 1 and a bunch of back-roads in Tak. Distance: 483 km
